Light and Fluffy time

I woke up at 5:30pm today with only about four hours of sleep, and I think I’ll be just fine. I slept once I came home from work, and it’s really scorching hot. But that’s so me, if I’m sleepy I sleep, but if I’m not, we’ll then I do not. Life is simple right?

I’ve been busy lately, and I’ve been in swimming twice last week, with just a day interval. One is a team building event from work, and the other one with friends. There is just one thing that’s stressing me out lately, “alak” (liquor). My body really can’t stand any sort of liquor, or anything that has alcohol content. And that’s also keeping me busy lately, battling with liquor. I think the worst case happened weeks ago wherein after I decided to drink that freaking “red horse beer” without holding back, I literally almost can’t remember a thing within that time frame. I even can’t remember how I got home. I just have image flashes on my head, and few scenes just like the movies. But not as harsh as how my friends would describe how it happened. They told me that I had been in a fight, but that is so unlikely. Yeah, I had my right eye sore, but later I realized, it’s just because of dirt or just because of the hot weather. But I think that is not the first time it happened. Since college, me and my classmates, whenever we plan on drinking, we plan it so we can sleep afterwards and rest at the comfort of the house of any one of us. I remember a scene in my head that one time, one of our classmates almost died from falling off the roof top because of shouting while giving the airplane that passes by a “dirty finger”. There is also a scene where we are all puking at the same time to a well of pig shit (eeewww, gross!). And I can also remember a time where we are in a room that we call BBB (big brown box), lights are out already, but I can see silhouettes of objects flying around because of throwing, and we are actually messing the whole place up, but we are not fighting. Those are the few things I can hardly remember because of liquor during college, but after school is a different story. Conclusion: I think I’m losing battles against liquor, but winning the war against mediocrity. It’s just “yes” or “no”. I really can’t drink, so I won’t force myself anymore. Now it’s just a matter of how I handle my convictions about my decision.

That’s just few of the things that’s in my mind right now here in my room, I mean, it’s not my room, but this is the place at the house where the computer is, and this is where I spend almost all of my time when at home. And I really appreciate my work schedule right now. Yes it’s just now that I’m feeling the effects of not sleeping in night time, everyday. But I’m fine with it because I can go to work at night, and still can also make time to do the things I need or want to do at day time, any day. But of course, proper scheduling and time management skills are needed on this one.

Right now, I feel good. It’s like I can do anything, but nothing at the same time. I can listen to music or to my favorite radio shows, watch TV, watch DVD’s, or watch series/anime. I can check on my social virtual life. Or I can also make “tambay” (hangout) with friends just outside. Or I can play DOTA or any game that I like. I can read books, write something or even draw something. I can play my guitar, practice. I even already organized my music sheets, but I haven’t backed up my computer files yet, and it’s been months already and I’m so running out of disk space, as in I’m down to MB (megabyte) already! Haha! But still that’s me, laziness kicking in.

Aaaaahhhhh freeee tiiimmmee… But be ready, more thoughts coming in…

Relax. Chill.. ^^

Forces of Nature

I believe this is one of the forces I forgot to consider aside from Hearts and Minds. And in such a way that I think, this is one of what they calls, “Destiny’s” servant. What I mean is, you know at some point in your life, you'd think that, whatever you do, whatever happens, some things are meant to be? It even makes you smile when you see little signs of it, and it calms you down and makes you realize that in one way or another, everything’s going to be okay, and everything will work out just fine. At least that’s what I think. And there are many kinds of servants. I think I know it because I believe one is on my side, which is, although I’m a “kamote”, I have a strong sense of good luck in many ways than the other. And I’m very thankful of that. Time, on the other hand, I cannot identify yet.

Getting back to the point, wherein “again”, a question was formed in my mind;

Is there really such a thing as destiny?

War of Hearts and Minds

Kinapos at nahuli na naman ako sa oras para sabihin ang dapat kong sabihin dahil sa dalawang salita o bagay na pinagtatalunan pa sa isip ko kung ano ba talaga dapat ang pamagat. Kung hindi man, sakto lang rin siguro para malaman ko kung ano nga.

Eto.

Lahat ng sinabi ko sa'yo totoo. Ibig kong sabihin ang lahat ng salitang pinakawalan ko. At kung ano man ang dahilan ko dati na sinabi ko noon, hayaan mong ulitin ko, na ganon pa rin ang dahilan ko ngayon. Ikaw na rin ang muling nagbukas ng natural kong isip. At ikaw din ang tumulong para bumangon muli ang puso ko at hayaang muling lumakad at magpatuloy.

Gusto kong maglaro. Sino ba naman ang ayaw? Masaya yon eh! Pero sa tingin ko hindi sa paraan na gusto mo. Ngunit hindi nangangahulugan na hindi ko ito kaya at hindi ko ito gagawin. Pinipili ko lang palagi na wag na. At bilang muling pagsalungat, binibigyan lang kita ng partida sa ginagawa ko ngayon dito. Kahit na naguumapaw ang tyansa na ako talaga ang talo. Ayos lang saken. Hindi naman ako nag-iipon ng panalo.

Gayun pa man, titignan ko na lang kung sino ang mananalo. Ang tigas ng ulo ko, o, ang tibay ng puso ko para sa'yo.

Sa'yo, tulad ng hiling ko dati, wag mong ipagdamot na ipakita ko ang nararamdaman ko bilang paghanga sa ginawa mo.

At para naman sa ikatatahimik ng naiisip ko, tulad ng nabasa ko dati, ibibigay ko na ang linya, "angtangatangamotalagaelmopakshetkaamf!".

Ano? handa ka na ba?

Ako, hindi pa.

Pero hayaan mo lang.. ^^

Supermassive Black hole

Yan ang tugtog ko ngayon dito sa bus pauwi. Nakumpleto na naman ang sangkap ko sa pagsusulat. Nasa loob ng isang umaandar na sasakyan (sobrang partida), mp3 player, ballpen, likod ng notebook, at blangkong utak. At meron pa yata akong nakalimutan, isang usyosong katabi. Ayos! Game!

Ano nga pala sa Pilipino ang blackhole? Putcha. Basta sa pagkaka-alam ko, ang blackhole ay isang lugar sa kalawakan na kung saan ang isang araw o bituin ay nasira, at dahil dito, nagkakaroon ang lugar na ito ng isang malakas na pwersa upang hatakin, pilipitin, at sirain ang lahat ng bagay sa paligid nito, kahit ilaw o liwanag. Sa madaling salita, delikado daw pumunta dito. "Daw". Ang iba naman ay sinasabing sa gitna daw nito ay, maaaring, isang lagusan papunta sa isang partikular na panahon. Sauce! Napanood ko na to'! Ayawan na!

Pero seryoso, pinili ko pumunta sa isang blackhole ngayon. Maari naman ako manatili dito sa mundo at mamuhay ng matiwasay. Pero, ganoon pa rin ang dahilan ko, kung maganda man ang pupuntahan o hindi, naniniwala pa rin ako sa sinasabi ng iba na, dapat mong pahalagahan ang paglalakbay katulad ng pagpapahalaga na ibinibigay mo sa pupuntahan. At sa paningin naman ng iba pa, ang pagpunta sa isang blackhole ay isang malaking kahangalan at katangahan. At kelan ko nga pala uli inisip ang tungkol sa iniisip ng iba?

Sobrang hirap mag-adjust. Napakadaming dapat gawin. At napakadaming bagay na ayoko nang gawin. At mga bagay na ayoko munang bigyan ng pansin at gawin. Sobrang daming nakasanayan na dapat nang alisin. Para akong nagpapakamatay sa sobrang pagiging tapat sa sarili. At syempre kapag may bida, hindi pwedeng walang kontrabida, ang oras.

At oo nga pala, may isa akong nakalimutan sabihin dati sayo dito. Totoo ang chismis! Callboy na ako! Sobrang huli na ako sa pagsasabi. Hindi ko talaga lubos maisip at paano ako napasok sa ganitong trabaho. Ganoon pa man, nagpapasalamat talaga ako.

Masaya to! ^^